R.I.P. BULLDOG

On April 21, 2011 I lost my older/only brother of natural causes. On that faithful day, he looked around at me and my mom and then had another seizure. He never had a seizure before, so we knew something was seriously wrong with him. I was very scared because I didn’t know what to do. If I had known that, that would be the last time I saw my brother alive, I would have told him that I love him so much.

Apart of me wanted to give up because the pain and hurt was too much to bare, and I still feel like doing so, but I keep pushing forward because I know that he would’ve wanted me to do so…not just for me, but for my mom too.

What made the situation worse was the fact that the one person who’s shoulder I wanted to cry on couldn’t be there for me physically.

Now all I do is cry and stare off into space when I think about my brother. I miss the laughter, joking around, and going places together. How we would spend a lot of money on electronics and shoes. His style matched his personality to the fullest.

So farewell big brother and always remember this…your mom and little sister loves but God loves you best. You will forever be in our heart and soul, and one day we will all be reunited in the Kingdom. My strength comes from knowing that you’re watching over each of us every single day with a smile on your handsome face. I pray that you left us behind knowing how much you were loved, because you had a gift of touching everyone’s heart.

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVERMORE!

R.I.P L.T.S “BULLDOG” ❤

Uniqueme

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CAN MEN AND WOMEN REALLY BE “JUST FRIENDS” WITH THEIR EX?

There are so many people out there claiming that they are “JUST FRIENDS” with their ex. I should know I’m one of them. Me and my ex had an off and on relationship for over 5 years. I know that sounds crazy, but it is the truth. When we are on good terms; I enjoy the conversations that we have (no matter how short it may be). Well we were very serious about our relationship, so much so that we were talking about marriage. If we could work through our differences that is. We had a hit a nasty bump in the road; due to my insecurities. I thought that it would be like the last time we broke up, but no it wasn’t. This cross road is truly testing our faith in God.

He told me that he think we should be just friends because “I’m not independent”, and because he wanted to get his self right spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I agreed with him about the whole thing, but he said something to me that I found to be a “double standard”. He said to “We are just friends but we’re not allowed to be friends with anyone else of the opposite sex”. I thought it was crazy and it made me question whether or not if men and women can really be just friends with their ex. I believe in keeping my options open, so I kept communicating with my old friends, up until he told me that I had to choose; stop talking to my old friends, or losing all lines of communication between me and him.Since I never met my other friends in person before, I chose him.

Now, I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice. The reason why I question my own choice is because I tend to be lonely and bored. Everybody that I know have a family of their own, so they can’t keep me company all the time. Its not like I’m cheating on him; because we don’t go together. So tell me world, do you think men and women can be “JUST FRIENDS” with their ex?